NagMummy

That was the theme and title of the finale song at M’s school’s year-end concert. And I just cannot agree more! Every child is a miracle and watching M grow has given me a chance to be a part of it. I continue to marvel at her development from a newborn baby to a preschooler, even though she’s ‘regular’ in most aspects.

Anyway, back to the concert. It took place on a Saturday morning and her class (Pre-Nursery) had two performances – one in Chinese and one in English, on top of the finale song item. We were so proud of M! She did the actions for all 3 song items really well. Most importantly, she enjoyed herself and was not at all frightened on stage, which is quite common for young children (not to mention adults!).

So a big thank you to all the teachers of Schoolhouse by the garden… Especially Feng lao shi and teacher Mag!

A few weeks ago, someone asked me this question, which I guess applies to every mum and rightfully every parent. In essence, the question is – Is it worth trading our time for money?

Since my ‘bold’ return to the work force, I spend around 12 hours a day at work (excluding travelling time) five days a week. It’s longer hours than most jobs but pretty normal in this field of work. And let’s just say the money does make up for it to some extent.

Let me first start with what I’m missing out on a typical working day. I’m usually out of the house before M wakes up so I do not go through her morning routine – milk, potty, change, breakfast, send her to school. In the evenings I usually reach home just before her bedtime, so I do not pick her up from school, prepare her dinner, feed her and shower her. The only part of her daily routine I’m still  involved is reading her a bedtime story and staying in bed with her till she falls asleep, which may mean the whole night sometimes because I’m just too tired to move! So, from around 6 hours of interaction time to less than 1 hour!

Well for me, the only silver lining is that Matt & I are kinda in a role reversal situation. He is now ‘replacing’ me in those hours that I’m not around. And after 3 months, even he agrees that daddy and daughter are now ‘closer’ than before, something I’m not complaining about! And of course I try to maximise the weekends and keep it strictly for family.

But honestly, I dun think I can answer that question till say at least 10 years later… when I can appreciate the consequences of our decisions today. But its still a good question to constantly ask ourselves, especially us parents. Every child has only 1 childhood and decisions we make will affect the memories we create with them that will last them a lifetime.

Tough… that’s what happens when time becomes a commodity!

There were definitely good reasons to celebrate this year’s Children’s Day. Firstly, M has had a wonderful month. Her flu/ cough condition that has plagued her for nearly 6 months improved significantly. At the same time, we went back to KKH for her review last week and were told she does not need to take any more of her anti-allergic medication! Yeah…

On Children’s Day, I took my first day of annual leave since starting work as M’s school was closed for the day. It felt a little weird, going through the routine I was so used to as a SAHM. After breakfast, I brought M to the supermarket, got some stuff, cooked lunch (1st time in 2 months), shower her, put her to bed for her nap, do the laundry etc…

And Oct 1 happens to my mum’s birthday too! So after M’s nap, we went to Ang Mo Kio to buy a cake and then went over to my mum’s place for a simple celebration. Nice

And Matt was particularly happy that day too. He was relieved of his “daddy” duties and could work late for once!

It’s amazing how the simplest things in life can make us so happy

Finally got time to pen some thoughts. It’s been a hectic month for our family, trying to adjust our daily routine to accommodate my move back to the workforce. Contrary to what many think, the move has impacted Matt most among the three of us.

M is pretty well settled in full-day care so she is in fact the least affected. Apart from being picked up later from school in the evenings, her daily routine hasn’t changed very much. Well, she cried a fair bit in the first week when she woke up in the mornings to find that mummy had already left for work but she got used to it fairly quickly.

As for me, it has been surprising easy except for trying to stay awake the whole day (no more afternoon naps!). LOL. Being in a new job in a new industry has definitely energised me in a some ways. Due my absence from home, Matt has had to step in to handle most of M’s daily routine and the household chores.

And hence he’s been complaining about the ‘hardship’ he’s going through. Well, I wish I could help out more but the hours I’m away really does not allow me to do so. We’re exploring options to lighten Matt’s responsibilities, including hiring a domestic helper.

So, people have been asking if I’ve been missing M now that I’m working full-time. The answer is ‘yes, but I miss my personal time even more!’ In my non-working hours, should I catch up on things I enjoy or should I spend the commonly termed ‘quality’ time with M? That must be the biggest dilemma for every FTWM!

Gotta go…

As M settled well into full-day childcare and left me free at home, I started to explore opportunities to return to work. My ideal was a part-time position that’s outside the home (enough staying home!) but I soon realised that options were rather limited.

At the same time, I was presented with a few interesting full-time opportunities. I reckon nobody wants to see a full-time headcount being reduced, especially since headcounts are usually easier to be cut than increased. So I either have to stick my head in or continue to stay home for an extended period.

And as I went through the interview process for one opportunity, I got cold feet about returning to work. One of my biggest concern is of course whether I would be able to balance the needs of both family and work. But after pondering on it for several days and nights, I feel I’m ready to face my fears and move on.

M is after all not an infant anymore. At 3+, she’s gradually becoming more independent and is able to express her needs and wants. She is also more of a social being now compared to a newborn who demands undivided attention. While I have no regrets staying home over the past 3 years, I’m not sure I’ll still feel the same way if I continue to do so. I can’t deny getting excited about doing something new

And since I may not be lucky a second time, I decided to size the day. Recent events in my life definitely made my return to the workforce sooner than I expected.\ Whatever the case, I’ve had a nice long break and I’m ready for the plunge!

Some people say it’s morbid but I prefer to make plans for my family in case I have to leave this world before them. Over the past few months, I’ve summarised our household’s financial situation – mainly our assets and liabilities. During the exercise, we also reviewed our insurance needs with our financial consultant. The only thing left to do was writing a will so we can name our executors, beneficiaries and guardians for M, in case we have to go before she reaches adulthood.

The Intestate Succession Act applies in situations when a person dies without a will (intestate) or if the will left behind is incomplete. It governs who gets the deceased’s estate in what proportion and who can manage the estate. Personally, I think that if either me or Matt were to go first, it may not be a big issue dying intestate. However, it can get complicated if the worst scenario should happen, i.e. both of us dying together. *Touch wood*

In most cases, family members apply to be executors of the deceased’s estate as well as guardians of the deceased’s children. But we would rather save them the anguish of having to make those tough decisions on our behalf. Dying testate (with a will) also gives us peace of mind that M will be in good hands in the event that we can’t be there for her.

And the price of this peace of mind – $920 for the 2 of us!

As the recent World Cup showcased the best of South Africa, I can’t help being affected by the contrast presented in 2 articles in the June 14 and 28 issues of TIME magazine about the plight of women and children in other parts of impoverished Africa.

Authored by Alice Park, The Perils of Pregnancy: One Woman’s Tale of Dying to Give Birth tells of how a woman in Sierra Leone lost her life at age 18 after giving birth to a pair of twins due to the lack of medical services. According to the article, “… childbirth remain among the leading causes of death of woman worldwide; every day, one woman per minute dies while giving birth or soon after.” The pictures in the article were especially disturbing, including the 18 year-old’s final moments. 

The next article, Battling A Scourge by Alex Perry, is about how the children of a small town in Uganda – Apac suffers from malaria, where “almost 90% of malaria victims are children under 5”. It’s hard to imagine raising kids in these extreme conditions, and reminds me again of how fortunate we are to live in Singapore.

So, there is always two sides to every story…

We brought M to the Singapore Arts Museum – Art Garden exhibition recently. It is housed in a new building a short distance from the main museum – SAM at 8 Queen Street. It was a rainy weekday afternoon and perfect for an indoor activity like this. Apart from a group of school children, there were not many visitors and so we enjoyed lotsa space.

As promised by their advertisement, the exhibits were designed to interest children. There were motion picture/ animation as well interactive exhibits. M especially enjoyed the Funky Forest, Daisies and Enchanted Forest exhibits where she could run around and were be engaged. She did not appreciate the motion picture/ animation as much, especially the Ringmaster, which had fighting scenes and monsters. Personally, I thought the Floribots exhibit was most intriguing.

We covered all the exhibits leisurely in about 2 hours. Definitely a fun activity for the family. Children under 6 enjoy free admission with every paying adult. It’s ending its run this week, so catch it before its too late!

M went for her skin prick test at KK Hospital last week and the results showed she has developed mild allergies towards some common foods and environment factors. She tested positive in varying small degrees to all 13 items – 4 environment and 9 food, including house and dust mite, cockroach, cat hair, cow’s milk, soy milk, egg (whole), egg (white), peanut, sesame seed, wheat, fish, shellfish.

Her allergic reactions are considered mild. The paediatrician said that there is no need to abstain from the food items because she needs a balanced diet but that we should give them less frequent and not in big amounts. We had been suspecting her allergy to cow’s milk and have switched her to goat’s milk for about three months now. But the other food items kinda surprised us. Both Matt and I are ok with them, except for shellfish, which occasionally causes some itch.

M was actually very afraid of the test. We had earlier bought her a book on asthma to help explain why she needs the inhaler to breathe in her medicine (Ventolin). In the book, allergies and the skin prick test were also mentioned. She even asked if the test was painful. So, when we told her we’re going to bring her for the test, she was resistant.

But the lab technicians at KK were very prepared – with DVD player, sweets and stickers. They also showed respect for the patient by always informing them what they were going to do beforehand. Although we still had to physically restrain M while the technician conduct the test, I think their approach helped minimise whatever anguish she felt. For example, when the technician had to draw some dots on M’s back with a pen in order to take measurements, she told M ‘see, I’m going to draw a smiley face only, it won’t be painful’. M wittily responded with ‘No, angry face, not smiley face’.

After the visit, we decided we must minimise her intake of processed foods, including sweets and biscuits, which we’re guilty of using as rewards often for being co-operative. These foods usually contain milk, egg, wheat flour. As for the environmental factors, we’ll keep her room and bedding items as clean as possible. But we have less control outside…

Still, M has to continue with another 3 more months of the anti-allergic medication – ketotifen before her next review!

Last week, we celebrated both Matt’s birthday and Fathers’ Day. Matt’s birthday was 2 days ahead of Fathers’ Day and it was actually the first time M was meaningfully involved. She went to school as usual that day while we headed to Dempsey Hill for a rare meal together – early lunch at the PS Cafe. After that, we caught a movie before picking M up for dinner

We made the mistake of letting her know we’ll get daddy’s birthday cake after dinner, as she turned out to be disinterested in her dinner. She did not eat much but since it’s a special occasion, we decided to let it go. We went to the Icing Room (another Breadtalk outfit) at Compass Point to get a ‘Decorate-it-Yourself’ cake. We had passed by once and thought it’ll be fun for M.

So, M was excited from start to stop. After I showed her how to squeeze the icing out, she was pretty much on her own. She certainly had her own idea of how the cake should look like and she can’t help tasting the icing packs. The final product was far from pretty in my opinion but it did not matter to daddy.

Fun aside, the vanilla cake we got was not exactly tasty. Not surprising since it was a normal sponge cake with a thick layer of cream on the outside; there were a few pieces of preserved fruit in between and that was about it. Not forgetting of course the heap of icing and sugar toppings on top, courtesy of M. Well, I guess it’s not the cake you’re after when you choose something like that.

Two days later on Fathers’ Day, I was trying to get M to wish Matt “Happy Fathers’ Day” but she kept insisting “No, it’s Happy Birthday!” Ever since then, she’s been bugging us about when my birthday is. I wonder when she’ll get enough of birthdays!