NagMummy

As the recent World Cup showcased the best of South Africa, I can’t help being affected by the contrast presented in 2 articles in the June 14 and 28 issues of TIME magazine about the plight of women and children in other parts of impoverished Africa.

Authored by Alice Park, The Perils of Pregnancy: One Woman’s Tale of Dying to Give Birth tells of how a woman in Sierra Leone lost her life at age 18 after giving birth to a pair of twins due to the lack of medical services. According to the article, “… childbirth remain among the leading causes of death of woman worldwide; every day, one woman per minute dies while giving birth or soon after.” The pictures in the article were especially disturbing, including the 18 year-old’s final moments. 

The next article, Battling A Scourge by Alex Perry, is about how the children of a small town in Uganda – Apac suffers from malaria, where “almost 90% of malaria victims are children under 5”. It’s hard to imagine raising kids in these extreme conditions, and reminds me again of how fortunate we are to live in Singapore.

So, there is always two sides to every story…

We brought M to the Singapore Arts Museum – Art Garden exhibition recently. It is housed in a new building a short distance from the main museum – SAM at 8 Queen Street. It was a rainy weekday afternoon and perfect for an indoor activity like this. Apart from a group of school children, there were not many visitors and so we enjoyed lotsa space.

As promised by their advertisement, the exhibits were designed to interest children. There were motion picture/ animation as well interactive exhibits. M especially enjoyed the Funky Forest, Daisies and Enchanted Forest exhibits where she could run around and were be engaged. She did not appreciate the motion picture/ animation as much, especially the Ringmaster, which had fighting scenes and monsters. Personally, I thought the Floribots exhibit was most intriguing.

We covered all the exhibits leisurely in about 2 hours. Definitely a fun activity for the family. Children under 6 enjoy free admission with every paying adult. It’s ending its run this week, so catch it before its too late!

M went for her skin prick test at KK Hospital last week and the results showed she has developed mild allergies towards some common foods and environment factors. She tested positive in varying small degrees to all 13 items – 4 environment and 9 food, including house and dust mite, cockroach, cat hair, cow’s milk, soy milk, egg (whole), egg (white), peanut, sesame seed, wheat, fish, shellfish.

Her allergic reactions are considered mild. The paediatrician said that there is no need to abstain from the food items because she needs a balanced diet but that we should give them less frequent and not in big amounts. We had been suspecting her allergy to cow’s milk and have switched her to goat’s milk for about three months now. But the other food items kinda surprised us. Both Matt and I are ok with them, except for shellfish, which occasionally causes some itch.

M was actually very afraid of the test. We had earlier bought her a book on asthma to help explain why she needs the inhaler to breathe in her medicine (Ventolin). In the book, allergies and the skin prick test were also mentioned. She even asked if the test was painful. So, when we told her we’re going to bring her for the test, she was resistant.

But the lab technicians at KK were very prepared – with DVD player, sweets and stickers. They also showed respect for the patient by always informing them what they were going to do beforehand. Although we still had to physically restrain M while the technician conduct the test, I think their approach helped minimise whatever anguish she felt. For example, when the technician had to draw some dots on M’s back with a pen in order to take measurements, she told M ‘see, I’m going to draw a smiley face only, it won’t be painful’. M wittily responded with ‘No, angry face, not smiley face’.

After the visit, we decided we must minimise her intake of processed foods, including sweets and biscuits, which we’re guilty of using as rewards often for being co-operative. These foods usually contain milk, egg, wheat flour. As for the environmental factors, we’ll keep her room and bedding items as clean as possible. But we have less control outside…

Still, M has to continue with another 3 more months of the anti-allergic medication – ketotifen before her next review!

Last week, we celebrated both Matt’s birthday and Fathers’ Day. Matt’s birthday was 2 days ahead of Fathers’ Day and it was actually the first time M was meaningfully involved. She went to school as usual that day while we headed to Dempsey Hill for a rare meal together – early lunch at the PS Cafe. After that, we caught a movie before picking M up for dinner

We made the mistake of letting her know we’ll get daddy’s birthday cake after dinner, as she turned out to be disinterested in her dinner. She did not eat much but since it’s a special occasion, we decided to let it go. We went to the Icing Room (another Breadtalk outfit) at Compass Point to get a ‘Decorate-it-Yourself’ cake. We had passed by once and thought it’ll be fun for M.

So, M was excited from start to stop. After I showed her how to squeeze the icing out, she was pretty much on her own. She certainly had her own idea of how the cake should look like and she can’t help tasting the icing packs. The final product was far from pretty in my opinion but it did not matter to daddy.

Fun aside, the vanilla cake we got was not exactly tasty. Not surprising since it was a normal sponge cake with a thick layer of cream on the outside; there were a few pieces of preserved fruit in between and that was about it. Not forgetting of course the heap of icing and sugar toppings on top, courtesy of M. Well, I guess it’s not the cake you’re after when you choose something like that.

Two days later on Fathers’ Day, I was trying to get M to wish Matt “Happy Fathers’ Day” but she kept insisting “No, it’s Happy Birthday!” Ever since then, she’s been bugging us about when my birthday is. I wonder when she’ll get enough of birthdays!

M has now attended 3 months of the half-day programme and 3+ months of the full-day programme at Schoolhouse by the garden. With the exception that she’s falling sick more often, we are happy with the school so far. The class size has grown from 8 in Dec 2008 to 12 now. With two teachers, one local English teacher and one PRC Chinese teacher, class management still seems manageable.

Just a couple weeks back, we met up with the teachers during the annual Meet-the-Parents session and were presented with an evaluation of M’s developmental progress. One observation shared by the teachers is M’s positive learning attitude. She’s always keen on hands-on activities and very attentive during story telling sessions. However, both noted that she’s always distracted during flashcard sessions. Oops! I wonder if I caused that with all the Glenn Doman flashcards when she was younger.

According to the teachers, M is also generally cooperative and very aware of the good behaviour that is expected of her. For example, she’ll say “Teacher M, I never run”. With regards to interaction with her peers, she’s willing to share toys but does not like anyone to touch her bedding items. As for her likes and dislikes, she loves getting her hands dirty during arts and craft and cookery classes but dislikes rough play and getting water in her eyes during water play.

We’re happy with her development so far and we continue to like the school environment and community. The management updates parents with monthly newsletters, each term’s curriculum and documentation of class activities. M has been happy with school except for a short period of time when she had a change of teacher.

All in all, a good 6 months and its a thumb’s up for us!

A couple of weeks back, our family tried kite flying for the first time and it was fun!

Somehow, both Matt and I have not tried kite flying through our childhood and adulthood. Anyway, we’ve passed by the open field around Sengkang several times and seen lots of people enjoying kite flying. And every time, we kept saying we have to do it one day. I finally got my act together and remembered to buy a kite on one of my shopping trips.

Our first attempt was on a Sunday morning. Not a good idea, we realised. We were the only souls on the field, the sun was scorching and there was not much of wind. we can’t help laughing at ourselves! Nonetheless, we gave it a go and managed to get the kite up into the sky. Not bad for a start. M got really excited about letting out the line and watching the kite soar higher and higher. But we couldn’t last long in that weather and called it a day pretty soon.

Our second attempt was definitely more enjoyable. It was a cooling Saturday evening, the perfect weather. We reached the field just before 6pm and there were lots of people there already. The wind condition was ideal and the kite soared without effort. In fact, we let the line out to the maximum in no time. M was more interested in people and kite watching this time. We bought another smaller kite thinking that M may be able to attempt on her own but it did not work well. The other professionals and their kites there proved more intriguing for her.

The best part of this activity is that its free! A rarity in Singapore… And we’ll be returning again soon!

M has finally moved out of her cot. We have been thinking about moving her to a single bed for a while but was afraid we won’t be able to manage her new-found freedom during bedtime. Hence, we’ve procrastinated the move till 2 weeks ago. Well, we did not have a choice, she has doubled her birth length and there isn’t much space allowance for her in the cot anymore.

We decided to get her a bed with a pull-out at the bottom so we can sleep with her when she’s not well. We eventually picked one cream-coloured divan bed where the top mattress is a super-single and the bottom a single. To prevent her from falling off the bed, we got her a bed rail. And since we can’t stop her from getting off the bed, we fixed a safety gate at her bedroom doorframe so she can be kept safely in her room.

The transition turned out easier than we thought. She was very excited about the ‘graduation’ and kept jumping on the bed when it arrived 2 Saturdays ago. That night, we kept to her usual bedtime routine closely and she actually did not attempt to get down after we switched off the lights and left her room. Wonderful, we thought! Perhaps she had been so used to being confined to her cot.

The next morning, we found her sitting in front of the gate waiting for one of us to pick her up. I think that was when she realised why the gate was there. After that, she refuses to let anyone lock it. We still do it after she falls asleep. Besides trying to avoid the bad habit of running into our bed, we really don’t want her to run into danger while we’re asleep, especially in the kitchen.

It’s interesting how ‘big’ she seemed in the cot then and how ‘small’ she now seems in the super single bed. Still a baby nonetheless…

With time on my side, I made a few shopping trips to Orchard over the past 2 weeks. And just like someone who hasn’t been there before, I felt lost. On one trip, I stepped out of Somerset MRT station and was taken aback by the surrounding, the brand new 313@Somerset. Wow, nice and cool…  no more of that hot and stuffy covered walkway.

On another trip, I was making my way from Orchard MRT station to Forum. I went up the escalator leading to the junction of Orchard Road and Paterson Road only to find out that pedestrian crossing is no longer allowed there. No wonder the signage along the way kept showing the way to the ‘Ion-Paterson Linkway’. And so I had to backtrack.

Time has been such a luxury for me as a SAHM over the past three years that I’ve given up window shopping. Most of my shopping trips are quick and purposeful. And since I do not need to dress up, there was little need to shop really, with neighbourhood malls my most frequent destination. Even until now, I’ve not gone round Ion even once, only covering sections of it while getting around.

And I thought I knew Singapore’s favourite shopping belt well. I worked around Orchard for 2 years in my first job, spending my spare lunch-times window shopping. And in my second job, I ‘studied’ the award of the land parcels that Ion and 313@Someset now sits on. Well, I guess all that are history.

Because I feel just like a tourist along Orchard Road now.

M’s language skills has been developing very fast ever since she turned 3. She has no problem communicating her feelings and needs most of the time. At the same time, her character and individualism is showing up more now, like acquiring her own sense of humour.

Just last night, after she finished her milk feed before bedtime, she covered her mouth with the bottle’s cap and pointed her empty bottle at us, shouting “Fire!” She was pretending to be a fire-fighter. It was amusing but I tried to control my laughter as I did not want her to do it. I kept saying “Cover your bottle, I don’t want your milk to drip out!” But I guess control our laughter gave us away and she kept doing it. Then she asked us “Is it funny?”

She’s surprising us more and more with what she says. Recently, while we were waiting for Matt to get food at a food court, she was watching a cleaner clear a table nearby. She said “Mummy, this auntie is very sad.” I was pleasantly surprised she was able to observe the cleaner’s mood and took the chance to explain that a cleaner’s job is very tough and that we should keep the tables clean to make their job easier. Towards the end of the meal, she noticed another cleaner and said “This uncle is not sad.” This time, it was a male cleaner who did not look as tired and jaded as the one we saw earlier.

Besides expressing her thoughts and feelings more openly now, she is definitely more demanding of late. And we can’t even feign ignorance anymore. She is even capable of telling us when she’s unhappy with us! Managing her expectations and demands is a big challenge for us now and it’s somewhat different from the ‘terrible twos’ issues because then, they are still not able to fully express themselves. I guess this challenge is not going to get any easier as she grows older.

Anyway, we’re enjoying her even more now. It’s such a joy hearing her talk about her day at school. She even imitates the way some teachers talk. Sometimes, she’ll keep talking at bedtime because she doesn’t want us to leave her room.

She certainly knows her stuff!

That’s the question I’ve been asking myself almost on a daily basis now. We started M on the full-day programme at Schoolhouse by the Garden in March when I had my surgery and it’s coming to 2 months. I feel about 80% now and I believe another month should be enough for me to feel 100%, or maybe 95%.

Question now is do we switch M back to the half-day programme after that? That was our original plan. But she seems so well-adjusted to the full-day programme that I wonder if she would display any resistance to the switch. One other big consideration is of course, cost. Since I’m not a working mum, I am not entitled to the $300 childcare subsidy offered by MCYS to working mums. Our subsidy is capped at $150 and the full-day programme costs us $680 a month.

That leads us to the next question – Should I get a job so we qualify for that $300 subsidy? This is a much harder question to answer. Depending on the nature of the job, there is bound to be logistical issues we need to iron out. Although one would only need to work 56 hours to qualify as a working mum under MCYS’s regulation, such jobs are hard to come by. Somehow, Singapore has just not caught on in the aspect of flexible work and job sharing. Most jobs I would consider are still offered on a full-time basis – about 160 hours a month (assume 8 hours a day and 20 working days a month).

Friends have suggested I be a property agent, insurance agent or financial advisor, tuition teacher or even cashier or sales staff at retail or F&B stores. I’m really not sure. I really enjoy the luxury of time I have currently. M can take forever to get ready for school on some days and I can afford to be patient in coaxing her because I’m not rushing for work. Then in the afternoons, I can pick her up as early as 4.30pm so we still have some time together before dinner preparations and we do not need to rush through the evenings.

Ultimately, most pin it down to money – Can we afford this lifestyle? Because time is really money!