NagMummy

Finally got time to pen some thoughts. It’s been a hectic month for our family, trying to adjust our daily routine to accommodate my move back to the workforce. Contrary to what many think, the move has impacted Matt most among the three of us.

M is pretty well settled in full-day care so she is in fact the least affected. Apart from being picked up later from school in the evenings, her daily routine hasn’t changed very much. Well, she cried a fair bit in the first week when she woke up in the mornings to find that mummy had already left for work but she got used to it fairly quickly.

As for me, it has been surprising easy except for trying to stay awake the whole day (no more afternoon naps!). LOL. Being in a new job in a new industry has definitely energised me in a some ways. Due my absence from home, Matt has had to step in to handle most of M’s daily routine and the household chores.

And hence he’s been complaining about the ‘hardship’ he’s going through. Well, I wish I could help out more but the hours I’m away really does not allow me to do so. We’re exploring options to lighten Matt’s responsibilities, including hiring a domestic helper.

So, people have been asking if I’ve been missing M now that I’m working full-time. The answer is ‘yes, but I miss my personal time even more!’ In my non-working hours, should I catch up on things I enjoy or should I spend the commonly termed ‘quality’ time with M? That must be the biggest dilemma for every FTWM!

Gotta go…

As M settled well into full-day childcare and left me free at home, I started to explore opportunities to return to work. My ideal was a part-time position that’s outside the home (enough staying home!) but I soon realised that options were rather limited.

At the same time, I was presented with a few interesting full-time opportunities. I reckon nobody wants to see a full-time headcount being reduced, especially since headcounts are usually easier to be cut than increased. So I either have to stick my head in or continue to stay home for an extended period.

And as I went through the interview process for one opportunity, I got cold feet about returning to work. One of my biggest concern is of course whether I would be able to balance the needs of both family and work. But after pondering on it for several days and nights, I feel I’m ready to face my fears and move on.

M is after all not an infant anymore. At 3+, she’s gradually becoming more independent and is able to express her needs and wants. She is also more of a social being now compared to a newborn who demands undivided attention. While I have no regrets staying home over the past 3 years, I’m not sure I’ll still feel the same way if I continue to do so. I can’t deny getting excited about doing something new

And since I may not be lucky a second time, I decided to size the day. Recent events in my life definitely made my return to the workforce sooner than I expected.\ Whatever the case, I’ve had a nice long break and I’m ready for the plunge!

According to Dictionary.com, the meaning of discrimination is as follows:

“treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing belongs rather than on individual merit”

A person can be discriminated against his/her age, gender, race etc. As a SAHM (aka non-working mother), I belong to a minority group of mothers who can’t help feeling discriminated against sometimes. Other than disapproval from those who believe we should be contributing to the economy, we’re also disadvantaged with regards to government subsidy and tax rebates.

Take child care subsidy for example. Non-working and working mothers enjoy equal subsidy of $150 for half-day programmes. However, for full-day programmes, working mothers enjoy a subsidy of $300 while the subsidy is capped at $150 for non-working mothers. Why? The answer from the MCYS website as follows:

“The main intent of the child care subsidy is to support mothers who need to put their children in child care centres as they continue to work. If a mother is not working, she is encouraged to be the main caregiver, and attendance at child care centres would be supplementary. Hence she is entitled to a smaller subsidy.”

Well honestly, I do not disagree with the answer given. After all, that’s what I’ve been doing for the past 3 years – being M’s primary caregiver. But as we make plans for a second child, we realise how the above answer does not address needs of SAHMs with more than one kid.

One must work 56 hours a month to qualify as a working mother. That’s around 3 hours a day, given a 20-day work month. Doesn’t sound that bad right?

Guess that’s the whole intent. To drive us back into the work force.

There we go again… GDP still has precedence over birth rate…

Life as a SAHM can be lonely at times… especially when I have to spend my birthday on my own (if you exclude a 2-year-old whose concept of a birthday is singing the birthday song, blowing out the candles and eating the cake!). My husband has been attending this particular conference in their US headquarters for the past 4 years, every time coinciding with my birthday. And it’s going to happen a fifth time next week!

Of course we can celebrate it some other time. And not that we really celebrate it in any special way, but it’s just nice to have him around. Actually, we’ve not celebrated my birthday together since we got married! I wonder if I have to wait till he leaves the firm to be able to do that…

Anyway, back to the real topic… So yes, if you spend the majority of your waking hours with a two-year-old, it can sometimes feel lonely, not to mention boring. Truth is: I’m usually too tired to even get a social life!

Besides that, I’ve gradually lost touch with the ‘outside’ world, having stopped work for a while. And inevitably losing some common topics with friends and ex-colleagues who are busy climbing the corporate ladder. Even though I don’t miss working, I do miss the regular social interaction with other adults. Nowadays, I make do with my parents and other Aunties around the neighbourhood. LOL.

I guess I’ve come to rely on my husband for my daily ‘downloads’. Afterall, who else would be interested to know what we did, ate etc every single day? So I have no choice but be ‘self-sufficient’ for one week. I’ve been through it and I’m sure I’ll be fine.

I just don’t like the thought of it!